Reena Patel is a senior at the University of Texas, graduating this May with a degree in Biology. (Photo: Courtesy, Reena Patel)

Coming to the University of Texas at Austin, a school of 50,000 kids, most of my friends are Indian. I go to all the Indian Student Association (ISA) functions. I am a member of the Hindu Students Council and a number of my friends are in mostly desi fraternities or sororities. We all hang out together and go to the same parties.

Within this close-knit community, there are many problems that exist. In our effort to find our place in the American community, we have created the ABCD culture. As many of our parents are slowly finding out, this culture has a very high binge drinking rate in the nation.

We have the most spectacular performances during ISA talent shows after which we head over to some of the best parties of the year. It is at these parties, under the influence of large amounts of alcohol, that some kids act in ways that would put our community to shame.

I have a friend who went to an Indian party and met a guy who bought her a few drinks. In her drunken state, she ended up going home with him and passing out the second they got home.

The next morning she woke up in a state of shock. She did not know where she was or who the guy lying next to her was. She got dressed and ran out of the apartment. She had no idea what had happened to her the night before, and she was scared to even think of the possibilities. In the morning she made her way to the campus health services office, and spoke to a nurse.

She was in a desperate need of a morning after pill, and she needed free services because she could not go to her regular doctor. If she did that she would have to explain to her mom what happened the night before. After telling the nurse what had happened, the nurse offered to call the police but the girl would not even consider it.

The reality of this young lady is that she was possibly raped. She refused to speak up out of fear that what would people say about her. She had been drinking the night before so it was her fault or was it?

To all of the parents reading this, your first reaction may be to lock your daughters in their rooms at home. This is not going to solve anything. They will continue to go out and do things behind your back.

This is the relationship between the majority of Indian kids and their parents. Realize thatess is the best gift you can give to your children to prepare them for independence. It is really hard for desi parents to discuss sex and rape and drinking with their kids in a rational manner. Indian kids suffer from what I like to call the jack-in-the-box syndrome.

While at home they lead very sheltered lives. So once they get to college, they spring out of their boxes to the opposite extreme. Parents, please sit down and talk to your sons, about respecting women and the consequences of their actions if they do not.

Talk to them about overdrinking. About how it will affect their judgment. Even though it may be hard, also talk to your daughters about how much trust they should place on the opposite sex and about the situations they may find themselves in when not under your care, for example rape, sexual assault, peer pressure and pregnancy, etc.

On a personal note, my parents did this for me. I feelenough with them to discuss anything. They know exactly where I am going, what I am doing, who I am with, etc. The only reason that we are this close is because my parents sat down and talked to me. They did not try to hide the truth from me, but ratherd up my eyes to what is going on around me and how it affects me.

With this power, I can face anything the world throws my way. I am a confident person who is not afraid to speak up for what I believe in. Please give the same gift to your children as early as

possible.