Of the 3,700 delegates at the conference, 35 % were women, who have for decades worked alongside husbands and fathers

Long Beach, Calif.: While children and husbands recognize the contributions of Indian-American women hoteliers, the Asian-American Hotel Owners Association (AAHOA) has gone a step further to institutionalize the role women play as partners in the vibrant and growing hospitality industry.

Last October, it organized a women hoteliers’ conference. But there is much left to be achieved, going by the discussions at the women’s panel organized at this year’s AAHOA convention that was attended by 3,700 people, with women comprising 35-40 percent of the attendees.

Indian-American families own 35-40 percent of the hotel-motel properties around the U.S., placing women in these families in a unique position to exercise an influence that many strive for in their daily lives.

Some Indian-American women hoteliers have worked for decades alongside their husbands in making a success of these family-run properties. Today, they and their daughters are flexing some muscle, evident in the 800 women who attended the AAHOA Women’s Conference in Atlanta in October. However, despite their importance and illustrious careers, very few women have made it to the board or as regional directors at AAHOA.

Surekha Patel, director-at-large for AAHOA and chair of the Women’s Conference in Atlanta, who introduced the topic ‘Journeying Through Success and Significance’ at the women’s panel at Long Beach, has 27 years of experience in running hotels and motels, and exemplifies the experience of many women hoteliers in AAHOA. She has also served as founding director of the State Bank of Texas, and spent a decade marketing for American Airlines.

Others on the panel included Lata Krishnan, founder of SMART Modular Technologies (acquired by Solectron), currently chief financial officer (CFO) and vice president at the company, and now president of the high-profile nonprofit American India Foundation (AIF); Preity Zinta, model, television anchor and Bollywood star; and Nancy Poor, president of Travelodge Hotels Inc.

Participants related their varied experiences and visions of their roles in society and in the companies they are part of.

Krishnan defined success as a legacy to children. “As a mom, the best expression of success is how your children think of you,” she said, “It doesn’t matter what walk of life you come from

----- the legacy is the contribution you make to your community and the human spirit.”

Earlier, at theng session of the convention, Krishnan made a pitch for her nonprofit AIF, saying it was a privilege to be serving

women and children in India. “What we are trying to create is a Rockefeller Foundation for our community,” she said about the goals of AIF. “Even with all the excitement of running a public company in Silicon Valley, it does not compare with the excitement of seeing the light in the eye of an underprivileged child in Gujarat.” Krishnan told the women’s panel.

Poor, who said she had spent her whole career in the male-dominated industry, had found the power of women that is not yet unleashed.

“Women have a skill set which exceeds that of men ----- they are better disciplined, better organized, more pragmatic, collaborators. It’s part of women’s natural skill set,” said Poor, adding that, “mental toughness is a belief in yourself and unleashing it is the challenge.”

Zinta, who accidentally became an actress, concurred, saying: “You have to believe in yourself and follow your goal.”

When asked what role adversity had played in strengthening character, Poor noted that the more you face adversity, the less it seems like it. “It’s just another bump on the road.”

Krishnan saved the panel from becoming a male-bashing contest, saying: “For all the women who do succeed, there are these incredible men ----- husbands, fathers, sons.” But, she conceded, “there is an assumption in the Indian-American community that the woman is always seen as ‘helping out,’’’ a reality that has to be changed.

For women to achieve a “true balance” meant not trying for perfection, the speakers agreed.

“You have to manage your time on a day-to-day basis,” said Krishnan. “Women can have it all, but not all in everything,” Poor qualified, “It needs organization and prioritization.” It’s all about prioritizing and managing expectations. “Perfection is simply not a possibility. We have to not hold ourselves to an ideal that’s in our head

----- not to have overexpectations in our heads,” Poor contended. “I work on the 80-20 rule ----- I try to accomplish 80 percent and don’t worry about the 20 percent (everyday),” Krishnan advised. “I also want change and every now and then, I take a challenge.”

For instance, two years ago, Krishnan decided she wanted to climb Mount Kilimanjaro in Africa. She did it. “I want change and it rejuvenates me.”

To become more like Poor or Krishnan, or Zinta, may be some women’s objective, but to do that, Poor said, “I coach women to toot their horn. Men do that.”

Women are far more modest than men in the business world and when women do a job they do it quietly and well, but Poor says, “Talk about your accomplishments. Don’t be afraid to speak out your views.”

Giving back and mentoring is key to these women’s success. “The fallacy in nonprofit work is that you are giving something,” Krishnan contended, “In my two years, I found it is the opposite. You come away feeling much more helped, enriched.”

For Zinta, nonprofit work has involved creating awareness about AIDS and HIV. “AIDS in India is spreading like fire. It all started with truckers going all over ----- so it is even in small villages,” said Zinta, who works with a nonprofit in Punjab. “In India, people are very poor, they don’t have TV, haven’t even heard of America.”

From a corporate perspective, Poor said, companies have charity on their radar screen.

At question time, concerns were raised about post-9/11 experiences of women of color and South Asians in general. Krishnan felt “integration” was the key. “Integration is what we must do. Sometimes we are overly sensitive ----- when there is angst in the air. After 9/11, if there is a sense of worry in the community (U.S.A.), we should be sensitive, not differentiate ourselves, and work on integration,” Krishnan maintained.

She also said it was important to have friends who support you. “There’s a sense of urgency that matters and motivates people. Life is way too short and you must make a conscious effort to surround yourself with people who make you feel good and put you on a high. You must be the change you want to make,” she said, quoting Mahatma Gandhi.